I’ve noticed me becoming a person with very regular habits. I go to and from work almost everyday, and I usually take the same road. When I go home I lie(lay?) down on the sofa with a book, and read for about half an hour, then I sleep for about half an hours. After that, it’s time for a sandwich with cheese and a glass of milk, and for dessert – a cigarette (Marlboro Softpack, rarely anything else) and a glass of water. I must drink when I smoke, whether it’s beer, wine, whiskey, coffe or water (never milk though but juice’s fine). Then I read some more until it’s time for the evening walk around town, and again – always the same road (go up K-Street to the Stream, follow that road where the persons who where about to be hanged walked ’til the 18th century, pass the German Square, follow D-Street down to the railway station, walk up the northern walk, pass the police building and then im almost home again).
Well, You prabarly see what I mean here. Im like Dustin Hoffman in Rainman. But it’s probarly what the doctor order when you’ve had a mental breakdown. Regular habits and dont break-the-patterns.
I promise I won’t. Im afraid of what would happen.
By the way. I thought terrorist where going to bomb my buildning ‘cause I saw a car strangely parked with the lights on. Nothing has happened yet th
av Max @ 22:46:23 i Old diary | länk | Prat (0)
The voices in my head
At night, sometimes when I walk, an other times when Im not occupied doin something – there they are – the voices. It’s nothing mentally strange, it’s just me starting to think about bad thing’s that’ve happened, that haven’t happened but if it should, it’d be bad. I just can’t stop thinking about it. It is like I can’t allow myself to feel good.
I do feel pretty good though, maybe grade 6,5 out if 10. It’s much better than former weeks 1 out of 10. I’ve climbed on the Billboard of mental health. When I reach ten, maybe I’ll write autographs.
My wishlist for the closest future:
That something new would happen, that can keep my thoughts away from the past.
That’s it’s the 25:th because then I’d have my salary
More inspiration to do things
A new computer
That it would be lunchtime
av Max @ 09:02:00 i Old diary | länk | Prat (0)